This is no secret manipulative weapon. How many ex’s, have you seen do a 360 bounce-back with a person that looks just like you? When they normally did the minimal posting and then all of a sudden does the complete most, with underrated posts like “how they make them feel so complete”. Don’t get this confused, this is not about being upset that he’s moved on.
It’s the hurt and disrespect you feel as a woman who gave this man everything she had and more, only for him to give it away to a woman who he’s trying to use as a replacement. When you taught this man everything and you’ve been there for him at his lowest of lows, and in the end, he treated you like you didn’t matter. Why would he post the exact vacation spots, the exact ring, and the exact ways he knew you wanted to be treated after you left?
His ego was bruised because you left him. He wants you to hurt and feel bad for leaving him. He wants you to get a glimpse of what seems like a new him, just to deny you the very things you saw so he can keep you under his control.
We won’t talk about how you isolated yourself from your family when things weren’t okay, when you shared with the world all the amazing things he’d done for you but always hid the truth. When you gave him chance after chance to love you and respect you. That time when you took him back because his behavior changed, only to find yourself regretting it because things went back to the way they used to. Did you tell yourself things like, if he doesn’t change in a year I’m leaving? If I become more like the woman he needs, things will get better.
It’s the hurt you feel when all you did was support and give, without him ever having to ask you. In return for them not to be there for you. Should you really have to ask him to support you? Should you really have to constantly reach out to him first and resolve the issues even when you weren’t wrong? To realize you were just being drained from this one-way street you called a relationship. Whenever you expressed yourself you were told, it’s not that serious, believe what you want, you’re over-reacting, being called soft, and annoying.
You let him make you feel bad for doing what’s best for you. Did he not know how hard it was to break your own heart by leaving him? How you ignored all the mirroring and gaslighting. How you saw his amazing potential and believed in him more than yourself. Did he not know how hard it was to leave him behind just to watch him grow with someone else and wonder did they really change? Should I have stayed around just a little longer, did I not give him enough chances? Was I expecting too much from him?
You can, what if, blame him, blame yourself, avoid healing, ruin your future relationships, dump yourself in alcohol, drop out of school, slash all four of his tires, and continue to live in the past but remember this.
The answer is simple, people only change when what they value is being threatened.
TIP: I suggest unfollowing your ex on all social media platforms, blocking him, and whoever he’s dating. It’s okay, to have moved one and wish them the best but from afar. You don’t want to look into the past but what you have now. That goes for unfollowing people and things that do not excite or give to your soul. Never feel bad for doing what’s best for you, because everyone else will do what’s best for them. It’s okay to grieve, it’s not okay to bury your emotions, your human.