If you don’t have a plan B you already failed. She said, “you don’t even know your own purpose, let alone who you are.”
Wouldn’t you be furious if someone told you this?
She said, “If I was just quiet I could hear it. If I just stopped moving so much and slowed down I would be able to see it.”
What does she mean slow down? Be quiet? Is she trying to say we’re loud?
She said, “You won’t receive your blessings until you unblock your heart. That no one knows everything about you and that’s how you like it. She said the little girl in you does not like that. She wants to heal. Why don’t you?.”
Lord Jesus, take the entire fucking wheel. Whyyy must she talk about the little girl. Fuck the little. Why didn’t she stand up for herself more? Why didn’t she run away when she had the chance? Why did she stay behind to just be treated like shit?
She said, “you will become great at anything but once you get bored you will jump to the next thing. You will forever be empty if you don’t heal.”
She don’t need her to try to be her parent. All her life, she’s been doing what needs to be done. Cant you see her past hurts so much, she can’t even talk about it without crying. She don’t want people feeling sorry for me and she damn sure don’t need no hands-out. She’s not about to just share her story for sympathy, that just ain’t her.
She said, “you have a gift, you have this special innocence about you. That draws people to you but you just won’t let them close enough because you’ve been so hurt before.”
God, why won’t she leave us ALONE!!!! Stop trying to dissect our life and dissect her own. Why must she keep trying to get close to us, she already know’s we’re broken. We know she’s broken too, she just has a better way of hiding it. But we see her, we just can’t let her in without hurting us. We know what she’s doing, playing her mind games and honestly no one has ever played it so well, we just might let her in.
She said, “maybe I’m wrong but what if I’m right? Just what if?.”
We laughed jokingly and said, “Maybe you’re wrong, just maybe.” But deep down maybe she’s right.
She said all the things that would have made the old us cry. She almost made us feel like we were lost. Oh, let us guess, she see’s herself in us and it just terrifies her. So she wants to look at our life, as hers and tell us all the things she wishes someone would have told her?
DING! DING! DING ! School is fucking OUT!
We let her manipulate us into opening up. Sharing our deepest, darkest fears just to see how far she would go to hear our story. And she crossed the line, I mean she really crossed the line. She knew it hurt us and yet she kept pushing anyway. She got her fix and left us high and dry. She’s so addicted to hearing other people’s pain, she can’t even heal from her own.
I guess she was right after all, “you will forever be empty, if you don’t heal.” I mean that’s what…